Something Devastating

Something devastating happened and I don't know how to... react, comprehend... I don't no how to proses it.
     My Grandmother pasted away. It happened yesterday and I haven't taled any of my friends, only me and my family know. It's like I don't want to admit it. Obviously, obviously I don't want to say out lowed that...
     I... had... a very, will I think was a very good relationship with my Grandma, I guess I could have called more, could have spent more time with her when she visited... but I know thinking like that is not healthy, I should't do that to myself. But I can't help thinking that their was more I could have done! You always think you have more time. That were is ways tomorrow! but their isn't! My Grandma was chatting happily with her friend the night before and let her dog out the morning of and didn't even know she was saying in the hospital because she was unclenches!!
    You never know how long you have. I guess the silver lining to all of this is that she dead in the most peaceful way possible, living independently, not having to go throw another death of her dog.
    I'll post more later, everything now is still too fresh.

Stage 1: Denial